After leading my brothers to the longest ride of our trip yesterday I felt quite accomplished. You see unlike my good brother Ryan explained yesterday, there is always a method to my madness. All along I wanted to go to Moose Jaw, I knew if I told them from the beginning that we would go 235KM in one day, my brothers would be furious. However if I kept them achieving their goals and then moving onto bigger and better things, we would achieve something we never thought possible. Leadership 101 by Scotty Mac, my little brothers should realize the masterpieces their older brother sometimes comes up with.
Waking up bright and early, I am jolly and happy! We only have 70KM to Regina. Our day is going to be easy, we have one and a half rest days when we make it to Regina where we will meet up with our one true sister the all Canadian bball player herself, Jess “Juice” Lynch.
However some of my bros did not feel the same way.
Russ who has been using my shaving kit for days, asks to borrow it, being extremely good at sharing, I always oblige. As we are packing up our stuff I ask Ross nicely if he can put the shaving kit back in my Pannier. Ross looks me up and down, from my toes and then straight into eyes. He fires the Shaving kit at Ryan tells him to put it away and then yells at me for not cleaning the peanut butter off of his blue plastic spoon last night. As Russ has gone 15-0 as far as wearing his positive hat this trip, Ryan and I are surprised by his angry demeanor and look at each other bewildered. Ryan, who is holding the shaving kit, throws it back at Russ and mumbles, “you put it away.” Russ who has turned his attention onto packing his own bike, takes the shaving kit in the back, extremely irritated he looks at Ry and tells him very matter of factly that he sucks at changing tires and that he has screwed up 8 tires in the last 2 days. (Ry has bravely tried to change Russ’s tire for him countless time and for some reason the tubes he replaces keep on exploding) Russ made sure he knew this. Immediately defensive Ry attacks personally and where he knows he will get a reaction, Ry goes straight for Russ’s ex girlfriends. A few names are thrown out. This is when I see the Rusty Mackinnon I know. I watch Russ’s head turn, look at Ry with a look of disdain and fight relentlessly to hold in his anger. Russ in turn goes after some of Ryan’s struggles with the female race and all of a sudden the boys are pretty heated. Ry runs over and grabs Russ who was working on his bicycle, as he does, the bicycle and Russ go crashing to the ground hard. Backing off slowly Ryan from many prior fights with Russ knows something is about to go down. Anyone who has ever seen Russ flip his switch and go to lunacy mode knows what is coming next. For as long as I have known Russ when he looses it, he cannot control himself, his eyes turn red and his arms start shaking. Russ is not a hand-to-hand combat guy so what he has always done is he finds the nearest, biggest most painful weapon available. All three of us brothers have had golf clubs, bats, roller blades, eggs, milk, whatever he can find fired at our heads. As we had already packed up all of our gear, there were two items present sitting right in front of Russ on the picnic table. One was my lab top and the other a spray canister of Sun Tan Lotion. I watch as Russ’s fire red eyes scan the premises for something to seriously hurt Ryan with, as he spots the items, so do I. I see the satisfaction in Russ’s eyes as he computes what he could do to Ry by macing him with the Sun Tan Lotion and stomping him when he is blinded. Being the only uninvolved person at the camp, I sprint over and dive on both items. Russ clearly disgusted by my actions, Turns towards Ryan and takes one hard step at him. Ry expecting a good fight is in Rugby athletic position ready to either spear tackle him or hit him with a left hook (Anyone who has watched Ry play basketball knows he doesn’t have a right hand) Out of nowhere Russ executes a perfect V-CUT taking 4 abnormally large power stomps over to Ry’s bike. When he gets to the bike, he turns stares furiously at Ryan grabs the top of the frame and fires the bike to the ground as hard as he can. Russ pivots in the direction of Ry, puffs out his chest and walks up to Ryan eye to eye. The absurdity of Russ going after Ryan’s bike of all things sends me into hysterics and eventually we are all squealing laughing.
Our bike ride to Regina is short but hard. Our tailwind has turned into a headwind and the difference is astronomical. Regina is a beautiful city. The amount of trees and greenery surprises me. And the Wascana Park beside the lake has to be one of the best city parks in Canada.
We meet up with Jessica Lynch whose energy could rival Coach Dave Adams. She has chicken burgers on the go and is ready to show us Regina. As we have a rest day tomorrow Sean and Russ decide that it is about time we sample the Regina cultural scene in the form of O’Hanlon’s Irish Pub on Karaoke night. Russ, Sean, Ryan, Jess and her lovely roommate Jo end up piling into her car and heading down to the pub. As it is a Monday night we were not expecting much at all. As we pull up to O’Hanlon’s we realize that apparently Monday is really a Saturday in Regina, the place is pumping with legit, talented singers who are there to win some money and maybe be the next American idol. Being with Jo (Who was Canada West MVP and an All Canadian female basketball player for U of R this past year) we are all seated front row with the microphone staring us in the face. Within 5 minutes of being inside the pub, a very good-looking young woman approaches Russ. As Russ has not removed his cowboy hat since we entered Saskatchewan, obviously he is wearing it at this moment. The girl is actually one of 15 girls who are seated to our left and are in Regina from Quebec for a 5-week English program. Russ finally has met his French soulmate and I have never seen him happier. The very nice girl was enamored with Russ’s hat and wondered where he was from and if she could wear it. Russ who has been claiming he is a CIT (Cowboy in Training) for the last week and being the entertainer that he is failed to mention to her that he was not really from a farm and that he is a townie from hipster Ville in Comox, B.C. For the next 4 hours I watched Russ try his best to converse in French and his girl try her best to converse in English. (As she was there to learn it) It was hilarious to watch Russ ask a question in French and her answer in English. Eventually sitting with the whole crew we watch Russ start to dance. Having the best rhythm of the Mackinnon Boys I have watched Russ copy and imitate my moves for years. He has stolen every one of my money moves, the Hughie shuffle, the lean step back, the pull the rope and he looks completely 100% identical to me. Watching him dive into the centre of the dance circle with 15 French Canadians girls surrounding him was like stepping outside your own body and watching from a far. He was me only 5 years younger. Ryan having enough of Russ’s antics came up to me and said “Watch this Scotty, I will make him one up me”. Ryan swaggered over to the circle confidently wearing his brown dirt stained three-day-worn white t-shirt and sweaty grease stained basketball shorts and stole all of Russ’s thunder. Anytime Russ went into the circle to dance, Ry would follow and get a bigger and better reaction. Russ being the attention hog that he is was rattled and would dart back into the circle to try to get the love back and one up Ry. This dance battle went on until finally Russ came over furious and said “Ry was hating on his game”.
Sean and myself being the mature ones now just watched in awe as the dueling boys went for bigger and bolder moves. Walking into the washroom Russ approached me and said that he was going to sing “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson and that he needed my help to do so. In about 5 minutes we choreographed a routine complete with MJ leg kicks, Moon walking, starting with our backs to the crowd and simultaneously butt wiggles. The plan went to perfection as we hammered home an MJ favorite until Russ got wrapped up in the microphone cord and almost took a spill off of the stage. The night ended perfectly as Jessica Lynch was the last act and brought the house down singing “Runaround Sue” Jess gyrated, danced, sang, fist pumped her way to a standing ovation, hug from the owner, two guys bowing in front of her saying “we are not worthy”, adoring fans named Romeo outside and turning the house lights on. No one could follow her act.
Tomorrow is a busy day as Sean Neville is amazing and has hooked us up with some media gigs. The guy is a media mogul and has arranged an interview with the Leader Post (Biggest paper in Sask) and a radio interview with our Crooklyn Clan brother Graeme Tait at 109.6 THE WOLF. If anyone needs an agent Sean Neville is your man. Sean just gets things done that none of us ever could. So time for bed! Scotty Mac out.
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