Hello everyone, brother Russ here. I have rather enjoyed Ryan’s weekly segment called “marry, date or dump” so I have decided to create my own which will be called “Rusty’s injury report”. Basically I will outline both the physical, mental and emotional pain that we have been experiencing over the past week.. So here it goes:
Firstly, Scotty Mack:
- Both his hip flexors are shot, as his bike basically has him doing a motion that you would on a step up machine across Canada.
- Suffering from a severe case of insomnia, which has resulted in him going to sleep for around 3 hours a night. This has began to take a toll on all of us, but especially Ryan his tent partner. Scotty doesn’t believe in alarms to wake us up.. Ryan usually receives a 1am David Beckham kick to the back to say good night and a 4am kick to the back in the morning.
- His ego and confidence has seemingly been destroyed with only one yellow jersey win in 15 days. (Which is still being disputed to this day)
- He has been hallucinating through out the prairies and I don’t know if this is common, but every ten minutes he is claiming he sees a coyote.. I want everyone to know we have yet to see a coyote.
- His stomach has been off in the last two weeks with his huge change in diet from the Phillipines. I guess a jar of Peanut butter for breakfast, brunch, snacks, lunch, dinner and desert can do this to you.
- Between seeing a coyote every 10 minutes, captain Scotty has began claiming there is something wrong with his back tire. First it was the air pressure. We check it and the pressure was fine. The next he claimed the brakes were rubbing on his tire. We checked it and the brakes weren’t rubbing. Next, he claimed his panniers were hitting the spokes and that’s why he was so far back. Guess what, we checked and the panniers were fine.. Diagnosis: old age syndrome.
The human band aid Sean Neville:
- Lightly put, his right knee is literally hanging on by his partially severed ACL. He biked for the majority of BC with one leg and continues to fight. Mentally, Sean is the toughest of all the Mackinnons so we know he is going to make it. Years of backpacking across the world have made Neville the best negotiator money can find he always finds a bargain, even if there is one not to be found. This can also be his downfall, Sean is diagnosed with Scroogitis, often making us cycle 10 extra Kilometres to make it to a camp site that is 3 dollars cheaper.
Ryan “the ox” Mackinnon:
- There are no injuries to report for Ryan thus far. We are actually starting to think he is the perfect human. He is carrying 80percent of the gear and it has yet to phase him.
- The only thing that I see being a problem is Ryan is susceptible to sunburns. He can literally have a bath in SPF 90 block and still come out of the day looking like a lobster. Also, his facial hair is coming in red. He actually looks like the third Sedin brother. This could become a HUGE factor in the muggy, humid Prairies this next week.
For myself:
- My butt feels like Andre the Giant has been using it as a trampoline and every time I hit a rumble strip it feels like 25 other wrestlers have decided to join in on the fun and have a Royal Rumble (no pun intended) on my rear end.
- I think I pulled my Achilles tendon (didn’t even realize you can do that)
- Yesterday, I began to see mirages of my mom, dad and our leather couch in Comox (I am definitely suffering from a severe case of separation anxiety)
Firstly, Scotty Mack:
- Both his hip flexors are shot, as his bike basically has him doing a motion that you would on a step up machine across Canada.
- Suffering from a severe case of insomnia, which has resulted in him going to sleep for around 3 hours a night. This has began to take a toll on all of us, but especially Ryan his tent partner. Scotty doesn’t believe in alarms to wake us up.. Ryan usually receives a 1am David Beckham kick to the back to say good night and a 4am kick to the back in the morning.
- His ego and confidence has seemingly been destroyed with only one yellow jersey win in 15 days. (Which is still being disputed to this day)
- He has been hallucinating through out the prairies and I don’t know if this is common, but every ten minutes he is claiming he sees a coyote.. I want everyone to know we have yet to see a coyote.
- His stomach has been off in the last two weeks with his huge change in diet from the Phillipines. I guess a jar of Peanut butter for breakfast, brunch, snacks, lunch, dinner and desert can do this to you.
- Between seeing a coyote every 10 minutes, captain Scotty has began claiming there is something wrong with his back tire. First it was the air pressure. We check it and the pressure was fine. The next he claimed the brakes were rubbing on his tire. We checked it and the brakes weren’t rubbing. Next, he claimed his panniers were hitting the spokes and that’s why he was so far back. Guess what, we checked and the panniers were fine.. Diagnosis: old age syndrome.
The human band aid Sean Neville:
- Lightly put, his right knee is literally hanging on by his partially severed ACL. He biked for the majority of BC with one leg and continues to fight. Mentally, Sean is the toughest of all the Mackinnons so we know he is going to make it. Years of backpacking across the world have made Neville the best negotiator money can find he always finds a bargain, even if there is one not to be found. This can also be his downfall, Sean is diagnosed with Scroogitis, often making us cycle 10 extra Kilometres to make it to a camp site that is 3 dollars cheaper.
Ryan “the ox” Mackinnon:
- There are no injuries to report for Ryan thus far. We are actually starting to think he is the perfect human. He is carrying 80percent of the gear and it has yet to phase him.
- The only thing that I see being a problem is Ryan is susceptible to sunburns. He can literally have a bath in SPF 90 block and still come out of the day looking like a lobster. Also, his facial hair is coming in red. He actually looks like the third Sedin brother. This could become a HUGE factor in the muggy, humid Prairies this next week.
For myself:
- My butt feels like Andre the Giant has been using it as a trampoline and every time I hit a rumble strip it feels like 25 other wrestlers have decided to join in on the fun and have a Royal Rumble (no pun intended) on my rear end.
- I think I pulled my Achilles tendon (didn’t even realize you can do that)
- Yesterday, I began to see mirages of my mom, dad and our leather couch in Comox (I am definitely suffering from a severe case of separation anxiety)
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